2020: A Little Bit Closer

"I've been swimming in a sea of anarchy. I've been living on coffee and nicotine. I've been wondering if all the things I've seen were ever real, were ever really happening." -- Sheryl Crow

I'm doing the 2020 retrospective post a little early this time, because December, especially the end of December, is going to be a really busy time for me. 

Everybody I know has been all "OMG 2020 is the worst!" This year's been pretty good to me, though. The only major downside was that, despite a strong start, I didn't get much writing done for most of the year. That seems to have turned around, but the lost time is still gone.

In January and February, I continued my habit of finding a hidey-hole and working on The Nameless Way. That habit kept me in touch with the work and helped me do more at home, too. We made it to one convention before everything shut down in March. Even after that, I got a lot of gaming in through Hangouts. That's how my geographically-challenged regular groups had been meeting anyway.

Couple o' Things

"There are two things in life you should always binge on: horror flicks and Wild Turkey."
--Joe Bob Briggs

It's been a while since I did a blog and I don't feel like writing up anything serious, so here's a bunch of random updates.

I've been working at home since everything shut down for the plague and I love it. I can be in my own little space with my cats and all the stuff I like to have around me. I don't even goof off much. If anything, I'm a little more productive than usual. Maybe it's because I don't feel guilty about it if I've gone to the trouble to get polished up and slog my way out there, but I do if I'm at home and not getting stuff done. And "social distancing" is my default setting anyway. I'm gonna be sad when I have to go back. That doesn't mean I want people to keep getting sick, of course. Well, except maybe these dumbass quarantine protesters. Those assholes can go anytime.

I hate to admit it, but I kind of like the company I work for, now. I'm really impressed by the way the way they're handling all this plague stuff and, I don't know, it's just something I'm glad to be a part of, I guess. 

Funny thing, though: I'm getting less done on The Nameless Way. I think I had adapted myself to doing my little writing-breaks at work, which would then bump it up to the surface in my head so I'd work from home. I guess I need to work out a new way to keep myself on schedule. I did fill out the playlist and change a few things, which might not have been the best use of my time, but it was fun. Similarly, I've been collecting and scanning old bits that I still had from the game on which the book is based. This isn't exactly the highest priority thing right now, but it will have an eventual use because I'm planning to have "digital extras" section for stuff like old maps and character sheets and things.

I've done a lot of video-chat gaming. The Defenders campaign is still running, although I've just been writing up some notes instead of posting detailed session logs. I've played in some of Tom & Curt's Scrap Pile follow-up and some Spacers and Charlie even ran a Birds of Prey adventure. Well, the Birds of Prey setup, anyway. The field team consisted of Artemis (my character, based on the cartoon version) and Black Cat (yes, from Marvel -- we know).

Back when I first started drinking, I tried gin and didn't like it. More recently, I tried it again and loved it. I guess back in the day I wasn't enough of a boozehound to notice anything beyond the sting of alcohol. I've been picking it up more often now. I'm still way into bourbon, though. It's just a mood thing. White Claw is pretty nice when I don't want to risk getting drunk, too.

Tweets (Most Recent to Oldest):

• I hate ghosts that make people do shit like find the body or solve the murder or whatever. Deal with your own issues, ghost; it's not like you have anything better to do.
• None of the people I've seen tweet-calling for revolution would be of any use if it really happened.
• I just read that "OK" is just as correct as "okay," maybe more correct because it came first, so I guess nothing really matters to me anymore.
• I decided I wanted to see what's up with those Friday the 13th movies tonight. I never realized that you don't even see the iconic hockey mask on Jason until more than halfway into the third movie.
• I wonder who's gonna be the first to release a horror movie called "Shelter in Place."

Getting Better All the Time

I've been feeling and generally functioning better lately. Maybe it's the longer days, maybe it's City of Heroes, maybe it's something I'm eating, or maybe it's a combination or something else entirely. Whatever it is, I've been getting up more cheerfully, getting to work earlier, getting more stuff done, and even drinking less. I mean, I still love my bourbon; I just don't go quite as far with it.

One thing that's made life a lot better is that I finally went out and got the prescription glasses I've been needing for the last few years. It's sooo much better than getting by on reading glasses. I sometimes just walk around looking at all the textures and little details of things that I hadn't noticed before. I wear them all the time. I want to have them welded to my skull.

Operation: Faceblock is still in effect, and probably will stay that way. One of these days I might even delete that account instead of just deactivating it. Socializing online is a lot more fun without Facebook trying to sink its sticky, slimy claws into me every time I try to check on my friends. I'm enjoying MeWe as a substitute but, even if I didn't like MeWe, I don't think I'd want to go back to Facebook. Some of my friends are probably mad because they have to click away from the blue god to reach me, but they'll live.

I've been writing a lot more too. I started taking two or three breaks at my dayjob in which I just go down to the bottom of the stairs by the basement door with my tablet and plug away. It's amazing how well it flows in that quiet little cell with nobody looking over my shoulder. I guess it's the real world equivalent of that mythical cabin where writers in movies go to finish their novels. Rich and/or imaginary people get quaint hideaways in the mountains; poor people get the bottom of a disused stairwell in Cleveland. Oh well, as long as it works.

What's really funny about it is that I'm actually more productive at the dayjob since I started doing this.

We haven't played D&D since the last blog, but it's supposed to happen this Sunday. Last weekend we played Wobble. I patched up my old character, Daisy, for the new rules and had a blast hamming it up with an over-the-top transatlantic accent and a plucky attitude. Tom wrote about what happened and how it went on his blog. There's another game scheduled for Friday night.

I think I've discovered my spirit animal. Check out the red-legged seriema. This bird stuns or kills its prey by picking it up and smashing it on a rock as many times as necessary. There's a video, too, of course.

e lb:d{ :ctkit: ai.z;; ·-btf tt tb :d

Here's hoping it all keeps on rolling for a while.

2017: Remember That It’s All in Your Head

Where to start?

Here's a TV moment that kind of sums up 2017: Tom and I were watching Crisis on Earth X. Sara walks up to Alex at the rehearsal dinner and starts tossing back drinks. When asked what she's looking to make go away, her response is, "Nothing. I just like the taste of scotch." Back in the (sort of) real world, Tom said, "She drinks like you."

So here's to making that fucked-up outside world go away, and to loving the taste of scotch. Or whatever.

Writing... well, it's been going much slower than it should, but it's getting better. I'm now calling the book The Nameless Way. I started the year off strong, then things began to taper off in the summer and really fell apart during Gen Con month. I tried backing away from gaming for a while, I tried silly resolutions, I tried, you know, stuff. I think what finally got me back on track was when I took a week's vacation around Thanksgiving, escaping not just conventions and all that structured gaming stuff, but the constant brain-killing drum of my day job.

There were so many games, though. We started the year off with a clump of 'em at Weird Realms for Tom's birthday. My D&D campaign there drifted off early. I never had more than two players and, after a couple of cancellations for illness and something else I think, I never much felt like trying to schedule another one. The Scrap Pile had been on hiatus since late last year for other reasons.

In March, though, my World of Greyhawk campaign started up. I did this partly because my friend Curtis's D&D campaign had gone on hiatus to wait for a missing player. This one has been lots of fun. We were running along every couple of weeks, tromping through old modules and stuff. It had a bunch of long-distance friends in it so that was cool too. After a couple of months, Curtis decided he needed to start his campaign back up without waiting for the other guy, so hey, double the D&D! We even had a brief Icons reunion for Giant Size Scrap Pile #3.

In the fall, we were finally able to stir the Scrap Pile back into action. Aaaand Curtis started an Icons campaign of his own. That put the count up to four. I was running an Icons game and a D&D one, plus playing in, well, same. Sometimes we were playing twice in one weekend.

Also, the Greyhawk campaign was huge. I was wrangling five to seven players every time. That's about as many as I can handle at a real table. On Hangouts I'm more comfortable with three or four.

October came around and, on top of all that, I needed to get ready for the games I was running at Carnage. I told everyone I needed time off from gaming stuff so I could do more gaming stuff. Carnage came and went. It was awesome as usual, but didn't do much to clear my head. Curtis has run one out-of-continuity romp-type game since then and I had a blast running the Scrap Pile Christmas Special, but I still haven't started my campaigns back up. I guess I will eventually, on a less crazy schedule... assuming anybody still wants to.

I love both of my campaigns, and I love my friends, but I can't function with humans flitting around in all my spare time. If this year has taught me anything, it's that talking to or even thinking about other people too much is like sleep deprivation. I can handle some overload, but the toxins build up quickly and take a long time to clear out.

Like I said before, the vacation helped a lot. Before that, I was too fried, even with the restored spare time, to even catch my breath. Now I'm starting to pull it together. The shorter break for my Christmas trip helped, too, even the part where I got stuck along the way for some surprise auto maintenance. I'm a little concerned about where it goes from here. Multiple week-long getaways are a privilege for the wealthy. Maybe spacing out the game sessions will do it, or at least get me close enough that some carefully planned shorter breaks will work. My day job didn't use to require measures like this but, since we got sold to Jabba, it's been generating too much psychic garbage for me to shovel out.

I've also been backing away from social media a little, especially Facebook. I still use the blather sites quite a bit, but I had gotten into some bad habits, like using them to look for distraction when I was in a bad mood, or using them to vent. It's embarrassing how long it took me to realize that both of those are more likely to make things worse. On a somewhat related note, the site that did the syndication or whatever you call it for this blog appears to have imploded. While it was nice to get the extra hits, having to come up with something to blog about every month was annoying, so... good riddance, I guess.

I put out the last major piece of the Qalidar RPG, the Qritter Qatalog, this summer. There could, theoretically, be other books later, because I've still got some material I could run through the grinder and release. I suppose I could also do a compiled edition, but I probably won't. With the monster book out, I've done pretty much everything I felt obligated to do. If anybody wanted to actually play the game, they could do it and not feel like pieces are missing. Well, they might feel that way, but they'd be wrong.

Other stuff: Hey, in February, we moved! Not far -- just across the expressway. It was a grueling slog of a move, but I'm really happy with the new place. It's a house instead of an apartment, it's quieter, the way it's arranged is more conducive to the way Tom & I like to do stuff, and when things break, they get fixed. Plus, balcony!

Anyway, my goals & plans for 2018 are pretty much the same as last time, because I'm still not there and I still haven't quit. I'll try to find some practical ways to stay on track.

I'm thinking of backing away from conventions a bit. I'm already committed to go to Gen Con next year, and I'm not sure I could give it up anyway. It's a painfully expensive rampaging stress-monster, but it's also a freakin' amazing five-day party. I could, however, GM less and play more. Carnage, of course, is exempt. I could go to BASHCon and not run any games, or just run one off the books for my friends. It's a low-pressure shindig that doesn't even require time off from work. And maybe that's it. Tom's going to GaryCon with Monk, but I was already thinking of staying home to save up my vacation days... and bank some extra alone time.

I guess that's the end. Happy New Year!

Suburb of Horrors

Somewhere under a lost and lonely utility hutch of grim and foreboding aspect...

Eventually, I may have to use this. I've always suspected that there was something sinister under this place.

(Hint: Click the picture and look at the yellow letters in the middle of the box. If it still makes no sense to you, oh well. It won't be funny if I have to explain it.)

Bomb Threat!

How many times have I dreamed of this happening at other jobs?

edited to add:
Okay, this is funny.  One of the biddies upstairs called the bomb squad because a man walked in, left a briefcase in the lobby, and left.  So while we're all outside, jokingly accusing each other of masterminding the incident, coming up with ever-more elaborate schemes to explain why someone would blow up a building in Independence, Ohio, the squad is executing what must have been a hilariously dramatic briefcase-opening procedure.  Turns out that the offending accessory belongs to the semi-retired consultant who shares our office.  Most likely scenario seems to be that he forgot what he was doing and left it there by mistake.  Another terrorist threat neutralized thanks to the vigilance of the people!

Tom Said It Best

"It's always a goddamn minivan."
.

Goddamn Fractions

What is it about decimal numbers that's so hard for these freakin' engineers to understand?
.

Unclear

I was just asked to decipher a bit of my boss's handwriting for someone else in the office.  The word she couldn't make out was "clearly."
.

Funny Things Overheard at the Office #2

"I have a mission for you. When you get out to Arizona, take [name deleted] into the desert and leave him."

What is the Code?

Sometimes I just can't help but add a few lines to these presentations:

The Temptation of Responsibility

Last night, I was clicking away pretty good at a story I need to finish.  Television (and even radio) off, Tom at work, cats... well... not doing anything I couldn't ignore.  The silence was speaking clearly to me.  At around midnight, though, I thought, "I should go to bed."  I had been up even later Sunday night for the same reason and it was starting to wear on me a little.  I could have gone another hour easily, maybe two, maybe more, but then I would be droopy at work the next day.

This sort of thing was much more clear to me when my day job was walking barefoot on broken glass.  I suppose I should thank Tyson for giving me that much, anyway.  Back in those days, I could easily respond to that first twinge with, "hell with those asshats. If I shuffle through the day without knowing where I am, it'll be a blessing, and if only half my brain is working, it'll still be more than I owe them."  But I kinda like this job.  I kinda like the people, even.

So I went to bed telling myself that I got some work done tonight, and this way I could get up tomorrow, have a good day at the job, come home, and work some more.  Hah.  I slept through my alarm, I was late, and I'm still groggy after five cups of coffee.  Maybe I'll get some writing done afterward, maybe not.  So much for being responsible.  After all, would it really have mattered if I had been a little more groggy today?  I end up napping or going to bed early either way, right?

So let me just say thanks again, Tyson.  I'll try to keep you in mind whenever I forget the importance of not giving a shit.  Cheers.

Funny Things Overheard at the Office

1. "It won't give me the CD back."

Die, Monster! Die!

I hate PowerPoint.

October

And there's something about a chilly, rainy day that makes me want to goof off.

... even more than usual, I mean.

Burn Baby Burn

I confess, I have a particular hatred of resumés.  It probably started when I first had to create my own, but has long since gone beyond that.  The damn things just nauseate me, no matter whose they are.  It doesn't help that you can't spell it correctly without those wretched accent marks.  Ugh.  I can't even explain it.  It's like the cockroach reaction.  It doesn't make sense that they're any worse than any other vermin, but for some reason they are.  I see a resumé scurrying up my screen and I just want to knock it off and stomp on it until I can't tell what it used to be anymore.

Another Sloggy Morning

Thank goodness for black coffee.

RCL

Found out at work today that nuclear engineers use my initials for "Reactor Coolant Leak."

Puritan Pain

I've got a headache so bad that it's actually upsetting my stomach as well.  I just wanna go home and lay in the dark for the rest of the day, but noooo, I had to have this stinking "work ethic," so here I am, squinting at these crabby little correction notes and updating engineering specs instead.  Yet another reason to curse the black souls of my Calvinist ancestors.