Thursday, October 29, 2009

Eek! 40!

Actually, I don't feel so bad about this birthday, especially since it turns out that the Internet and I are turning 40 together (almost).

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Five Stages of Watching a Browns Game

Denial: In this stage, the Browns fan simply refuses to acknowledge the uncomfortable fact that his team is going to lose. "We're still in the first quarter and we've already made a field goal! We're only four points behind. We can totally win this!"

Anger: As the dissonance between the fan's protective self-deception and the actual performance of the Browns becomes increasingly difficult to ignore, the fan is forced to defend his comforting delusion more aggressively. "That ref has it in for us! The Packers would never have made those last three touchdowns if not for the crappy calls!"

Bargaining: This phase is characterized by a growing awareness that the Browns can't possibly win the game on their own, but a continuing refusal to accept the inevitable conclusion. The fan therefore convinces himself that it is possible for his own actions to influence the game in some way. "Come on guys! If we all show our support, the Browns will rally! Let's do the wave! DEE-FENCE! DEE-FENCE! DEE-FENCE!"

Depression: At this point, even the most dedicated fan realizes that there is no hope. The Browns are going to lose. Again. All of the fan's defense mechanisms have been overwhelmed, resulting in a crippling emotional exhaustion. "To hell with this. I'm going home at half time. I don't even want to know what the rest of this game is going to be like. I wish I'd never heard of football."

Acceptance: With sufficient amounts of beer, pork products, and peer support, the fan recovers somewhat from his depression and achieves a degree of functional equilibrium. "I guess even a Browns game is better than nothing. At least it got me out of the house for a while. Cleveland rocks!"

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Temptation of Responsibility

Last night, I was clicking away pretty good at a story I need to finish.  Television (and even radio) off, Tom at work, cats... well... not doing anything I couldn't ignore.  The silence was speaking clearly to me.  At around midnight, though, I thought, "I should go to bed."  I had been up even later Sunday night for the same reason and it was starting to wear on me a little.  I could have gone another hour easily, maybe two, maybe more, but then I would be droopy at work the next day.

This sort of thing was much more clear to me when my day job was walking barefoot on broken glass.  I suppose I should thank Tyson for giving me that much, anyway.  Back in those days, I could easily respond to that first twinge with, "hell with those asshats. If I shuffle through the day without knowing where I am, it'll be a blessing, and if only half my brain is working, it'll still be more than I owe them."  But I kinda like this job.  I kinda like the people, even.

So I went to bed telling myself that I got some work done tonight, and this way I could get up tomorrow, have a good day at the job, come home, and work some more.  Hah.  I slept through my alarm, I was late, and I'm still groggy after five cups of coffee.  Maybe I'll get some writing done afterward, maybe not.  So much for being responsible.  After all, would it really have mattered if I had been a little more groggy today?  I end up napping or going to bed early either way, right?

So let me just say thanks again, Tyson.  I'll try to keep you in mind whenever I forget the importance of not giving a shit.  Cheers.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Directing Space: 1999

"Okay Barbara, in this scene, your character is trying to...  Barbara?  Ms. Bain?  Oh, never mind.  Just stare vacantly at the wall like you always do.  We'll add some special effects and another shot of the scary bald guy in tights later."